Oh hey. It’s April 1st. How did I get here? Guess I can uncross my fingers that have been crossed for way too long in hopes that this has all been a massive effort, on a global scale, to pull off the ultimate April Fool’s Day prank. You would've got me, world.
What April 1st really means: Rent. And that’s no laughing matter. In most cases, asking your landlord to skip out on rent would be considered a fool’s errand. But with 36% of NYC households reporting someone has lost a job since the outbreak, and one in eight New York households reporting that someone is sick at home with symptoms, the first of the month is feeling like a very serious day for a lot of people (… and maybe something about April showers bringing May flowers, except May flowers mean normal life and April lasts forever. On the plus side, water conservation is probably at a high, as I imagine the number of literal showers all the homebound humans are taking has taken a plunge.)
Anywayyyy… what’s being done about this rent thing?
A 90-day eviction moratorium for both residential and commercial tenants, in all of New York state. The same goes for mortgage payments.
Meaning… anyone who doesn’t pay rent can’t be evicted until at least June 20th. The order also suspends evictions for the same period of time.
Even if I have a… pending eviction case. Yeah, even then. Those cases have been temporarily adjourned.
So basically:
Except not.
The moratorium doesn’t cancel rent, which means after the 90 days are up, you’re on the hook for the missed payments.
But some advocates say the moratorium will just cause a backlog of eventual evictions.
What else is in the works:
Four NYC officials have proposed the Renter’s Relief plan, which would let renters use their existing security deposits to substitute April’s rent. People who opt-in would have to replace the deposit within 30 days or purchase a low-cost insurance policy. The management company that runs Stuyvesant Town has already approved this.
Other legislators and advocates are calling for an all-out rent cancellation.
It’s a tough situation for a lot of people. If you’re able to pay rent now, pay it. If you’re not, know that you won’t get kicked out. And look up your local council member here to find out where they stand.
You can’t miss this ship (but some people really missed the boat.)
The USNS Comfort, aka a massive floating hospital with 1,000 beds and 12 operating rooms, docked at Pier 90.
Meanwhile, these New Yorkers were a little too close for comfort watching the ship come in…
… Hello? Hello? Hello? Is there anyone at home? Come on now.
Back in the village
Streets are empty:
But pretty:
Like really pretty:
People are drawing it:
Or they’re taking in from Poulet Sans Tete on Perry Street, where you can get a rotisserie chicken with a side of hospitality by donating a hot meal to a hospital worker when you order.
Villagers are also reminiscing:
Like really reminiscing:
But the streets are still empty:
And elsewhere in NYC…
People are still singing from their windows. A lot. The trend started with Italians singing nightly from their window to lift spirits during their shutdown, and Germans singing an Italian resistance song out their windows in solidarity.
New York is a place like nowhere else though: not every person who attempts quarantine karaoke will be successful. Including Trevor Noah.
Oh well, New Yorkers yelling at each other is its own kind of singing.
Anyway, it all reminded me of an episode of Friends— you know, the one where Monica and Rachel have to swap their ridiculous huge Greenwich Village apartment for Chandler and Joey’s still incredibly nice apartment across the hall?
Well the real issue (aside from wouldn’t Monica’s apartment be nice to have right about now?) is that Joey’s window neighbor likes to sing in the morning. Joey’s a fan. Rachel’s not.
The question is, when it comes to shutdown sing-alongs, are you a Rachel or a Joey?
As Paul from Breakfast at Tiffany’s said, “And I always heard people in New York never get to know their neighbors.”
Then again, as Tom Hanks’ character types in You’ve Got Mail, “Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly-sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms.”
But I like what Dorothy Parker said the best:
“London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.”
ln other words, I’m walkin’ here!
So. To summate. You may also be asking yourself, how did I get here? Or maybe more apt, will I ever leave here? Just remember, your “here” is the coolest city around— whether or not the streets are empty or the neighbors are singing.
Oh, also remember to stand six feet— or one Tom Hanks— apart.